The production team loved the Olympics so much - as did the audience - that we’re doing it again except this time inside where people, in theory, can’t fall down and break all of their bones. In practice, let’s see what happens!

This episode was filmed well into the future from the last one, as all of their hair is different, with Jimin in his iconic candy pink era that’s very distracting for me, personally. They’ve also completely abandoned customized intros and are instead using promo photographs over the reggae sounds of Blood, Sweat, and Tears. I prefer it, to be honest, it makes it feel more like a show.

Setup:

The boys will compete at a series of 4 arcade games to determine the medalist gamers among them, and I don’t have to tell you that this is a title they all take far more seriously than Sledding Champion. This time the 6th and 7th place finishers will also be punished, the first time we’ve seen a ranking used in this way, and it definitely won’t devolve into pettiness at any point.

The Moments of Pure Love:

  1. 1.

    In defiance of my, and Yoongi’s, previous statements that this will never happen again, Jungkook tries to lead them in the barbershop quartet intro of singing Run BTS; it goes pretty well until Namjoon enters the high tenor space

  2. 2.

    Jungkook shouts “Season 2!” in a way that confirms that it’s been at least a few months since they last filmed a Run and thus they’ve forgotten about all of the painful moments they’ve been put through

  3. 3.

    Yoongi announces that the clothes they’re wearing are evoking older friends who go to convenience stores, which I don’t get but they all do look quite cozy and casual

  4. 4.

    Taehyung says he was sleeping and had to rush to film so his pants are on backwards; he shows this off somewhat proudly

  5. 5.

    Jimin accuses Hoseok of dressing like a rich kid, with Namjoon chiming in that he’s the son of the owner

  6. 6.

    Hoseok sweetly says that he’s wearing the shoes Taehyung bought him for his birthday, and knowing now how much Hoseok loves shoes, this is high praise of Taehyung’s gift giving skills

  7. 7.

    Game 1 is DDR (Dance Dance Revolution); Jimin immediately says he sucks as Jungkook does a little foot dance

  8. 8.

    They make Jungkook go first so they all know the level they’ll never be able to beat

  9. 9.

    Jin says that Jungkook should have to do very hard while Jungkook protests, and the caption guys remind us that he’s a baby so this game is before his time which is kind of horrifying

  10. 10.

    Jungkook selects, at Yoongi’s urging, Für Elise by Beethoven, and I have a lot to say about this:

    • Why is Beethoven in DDR??????

    • The English subtitles on YouTube label it For Elise, which is hilarious

    • It is actually super hard, which all of them are surprised by

  11. 11.

    Jungkook’s eyes are huge, terrified, and focused the whole time, and with the black baseball cap he’s wearing and the fact that his mouth is permanently slack and open he looks cutely ridiculous

  12. 12.

    The rest of them celebrate the fact that Jungkook sucks, until the point that the song slows down and gets easy and then they’re sooooooo mad at the game (Jungkook still gets an F)

  13. 13.

    Jimin picks a really fast song and puts on his hip hop face for the vibes, but he’s also not very good and gets another F, but slightly higher than Jungkook

  14. 14.

    Jungkook makes sure Yoongi picks Hard mode on Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, so apparently either Korea’s DDR machines only have classical music for copyright reasons or they were only allowed to pick them

    • The captions tell us that Vivaldi’s Four Seasons is “known to be difficult” which makes me think classical music DDR must be a thing in Korean and possibly elsewhere

  15. 15.

    Jungkook predicts Yoongi will be very bad at this game, but he grins hugely as he starts off strong and impressively

  16. 16.

    He gives up very quickly and finishes with another F, though slightly higher than Jimin, and zero energy

  17. 17.

    Hoseok takes off his jacket and his shoes because there’s no type of dance that this man doesn’t take seriously

  18. 18.

    Hoseok picks the fastest song yet and basically flails at random until he gets down and tries to hit the pads with his hands; this results in an absurdly low score that all of them are confident they’ll beat

  19. 19.

    Jin chooses to do Rondo All Turca by Mozart and I officially give up on this DDR machine, but they all know the melody

    1. 1.

      The captions translate the song as “Bba-La-Ba-La-Bam Bba-La-Ba-La-Bam”, which is fair enough

  20. 20.

    Namjoon plays alongside Jin’s attempt for practice, very badly, and Jungkook simply cannot believe that he has to be in an idol group with these people

  21. 21.

    Jimin films them on his phone for future viewing and / or blackmail

  22. 22.

    However the song is easier so Jin, while still getting an F, is the highest F yet! Hoseok crowns him the new BTS Dance King

  23. 23.

    Taehyung goes alongside Namjoon to save time; Taehyung’s feet are bare, naturally, as they rapidly bounce to a synthesized version of Pachelbel’s Canon in D that once you hear you cannot unhear

  24. 24.

    They both get Fs, but Namjoon’s F is still better than Hoseok’s and he could not be more pleased

  25. 25.

    Final rankings are Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Hoseok

  26. 26.

    Jin handles his win super gracefully as he tells Jihope they need to take dance lessons from him

  27. 27.

    Game 2 is head-to-head arcade basketball

  28. 28.

    They claim Yoongi, the basketball guy, will have an advantage but Yoongi demurs that this is nothing like real basketball and to test that theory he will go against Jungkook who is good at everything

  29. 29.

    Taehyung declares he will go with his same age friend Jimin

  30. 30.

    Jin will go alone since he says he’s never played it before, which leaves Hoseok and Namjoon as the other same age friend pair

  31. 31.

    They name the Yoonkook battle Lamb Skewers Team which is just lovely

  32. 32.

    Jungkook once again has his mouth open the entire time he concentrates on his shots

  33. 33.

    Yoongi claims the trick is to stay calm at all times rather than go fast, but Jungkook beats him in the first quarter

  34. 34.

    Jungkook commands the balls to go in as he shoots, apparently successfully, as he wins overall

  35. 35.

    Taehyung starts out hitting every single shot but Jimin is undeterred and takes the first quarter; Taehyung hits himself in the face with a ball at one point which doesn’t help

  36. 36.

    Second quarter is neck and neck but Jimin is still leading into the third quarter, until Taehyung swoops in and takes it in the end in a thrilling battle

  37. 37.

    Hoseok shoots basketballs like a terrified deer trying to get them out of his habitat, tensely and rapidly

  38. 38.

    Namjoon at one point doesn’t clear the guard bar to even get to the basket and they all mock him

  39. 39.

    Hoseok destroys him and the whole group is so impressed with his anxiety-fueled skill

  40. 40.

    Jin struggles to even pick up the basketballs and starts shooting them two at a time; this is not incredibly successful

  41. 41.

    Namjin admit that they played to try to make it funny, so Yoongi suggests they have a loser-off where they try to do it for real to see who’s actually worst

  42. 42.

    Namjoon, when he’s trying, is actually incredibly good, and he gets the highest score of everyone and almost beats the high score on the machine

  43. 43.

    Jin remains bad tbh

  44. 44.

    Final rankings are Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, Jin, Yoongi

  45. 45.

    Yoongi once again says that this isn’t real basketball, and they all agree it’s ironic that Yoongi got last at basketball and Hoseok got last at dancing

  46. 46.

    Next week they will do two more games, driving a car and playing air hockey, and for those who remember the air hockey… yeah

The Finish Line:

It’s really sweet how excited they seemed to film this, probably because it’s a venue they like and an activity they’re into and not a comedy improv session in any way, but they really appear to be having fun and that’s why this stretch of episodes is so good. When they’re having fun, we’re having fun, even if that comes with a side helping of tortured electronic renditions of famous classical pieces.

It was also really interesting to see Namjoon go from worst to first in basketball, simply by actually making an effort instead of trying to be entertaining. I honestly wouldn’t have expected him to do that, though I’m not surprised at all that he’s physically gifted and coordinated, and it was fun that it was part of the episode like that.

This is also the first time that punishments are assessed on an individual level via game rankings (I think), and while in this one they don’t take that particularly seriously yet, in future episodes the psychological mind games will lean heavily on the threat of more and more ridiculous punishments. An excellent addition to the proceedings, and I can’t wait to watch them devolve into chaos.