Not to be confused with the American TV show of the same name, we enter our second skit episode in a row, this time with a police theme! The inspiration for this is very unclear to me, and makes me think that they simply had access to this set for some reason and rolled with it, but as always we get more classic lines and moments because these guys cannot be stopped.

The credits with adjectives have been replaced with their names, using specially created shots of them from the episode. The editors will quickly abandon this concept of making customized credits for every episode, which is wise, because editing BTS footage must be the hardest thing in the universe. While last time Fire was the intro music, we now have the familiar strains of Blood, Sweat and Tears which (I think) is used for quite awhile.

Setup:

They’re all dressed up as police and prisoners and told to do roleplay for our entertainment once more! This can only go well.

The Moments of Pure Love:

  1. 1.

    They enter a police station set already in costume, wide-eyed because presumably none of them have ever been in trouble in their lives

    1. 1.

      Prisoners: Jin, Hoseok, Jimin

    2. 2.

      Cops: Jungkook, Namjoon, Taehyung

    3. 3.

      Chief: Yoongi, possibly making up for the Yoonji experience

  2. 2.

    Taehyung touches all the props indiscriminately

  3. 3.

    Jimin hopes they’re playing hide and seek as cops and robbers in the police station set

  4. 4.

    The rapline + Jimin are horrified to hear they’re doing another skit

  5. 5.

    Jungkook is worried about being a cop, because he is a tiny lad with a good heart

  6. 6.

    They’re ALL horrified to hear that they have to make it up again instead of getting a script, though Jin improvises the crime of attacking ARMY’s hearts, to Jungkook’s impressed amazement

  7. 7.

    Jimin recounts the time he went to a police station to return 50 cents he found on the ground, to pats on the head

  8. 8.

    Yoongi recounts the time he went to a police station to report that he got scammed when buying a laptop, to general laughter

  9. 9.

    Jin is accused of the crime of making lame jokes, which he declares has never been nor will ever be a crime

  10. 10.

    They all give themselves a quick pep talk about just getting through this skit nightmare as best they can, then dance it out

  11. 11.

    We go right into the first scene where Taehyung is hauling an outraged Hoseok in for questioning

  12. 12.

    Yoongi is playing Minesweeper, but yields his seat to Taehyung and slaps his back several more times than necessary

  13. 13.

    Taehyung runs down Hoseok’s crimes, namely being too adorable on Twitter; he provides photo evidence and Hoseok is incensed

  14. 14.

    Jungkook wanders in to supervise, and they all agree he is the ace of this particular police station

  15. 15.

    Yoongi suddenly screams that he will try holding a laptop in the air and suits action to words

  16. 16.

    Hoseok begins seducing Taehyung with his smile that apparently killed people, then does some body rolls to ensure 2 years off his sentence

  17. 17.

    Taehyung takes the opportunity to make Hoseok dance even more for him, then lies he only did it for us

  18. 18.

    Jimin comes in as a witness, but he didn’t know he was going to be in this particular skit so he just sort of sits there and acknowledges that Hoseok is hot; same

  19. 19.

    Jungkook hauls Jimin away for making the skit more boring

  20. 20.

    Taehyung offers Hoseok a deal - if he does something charming he will get a very reduced sentence

  21. 21.

    Hoseok’s interpretation of charming is beelining for Yoongi and doing a manic dance and calling him his soulmate

  22. 22.

    Yoongi joins in briefly before telling Taehyung that he used his phone to find Hoseok’s accomplice, and it’s himself

  23. 23.

    Taehyung accuses Yoongi of being too drunk to work and evicts him from the scene

  24. 24.

    Hoseok is fed up with these ridiculous charges and tries to leave

  25. 25.

    Taehyung asks seriously that they hold hands before he goes, which Hoseok does, and Hoseok asks him out on a date before he exits; in 2026 we will finally see the culmination of this moment

  26. 26.

    Scene two begins with Jimin sitting in a jail cell and coyly calling for a detective because he’s bored

  27. 27.

    Jungkook answers the call and lets Jimin out

  28. 28.

    Jimin immediately tries to escape and Jungkook hauls him up over his shoulder and smacks his ass, hard

  29. 29.

    Jungkook questions Jimin about his own crimes of being too hot, and Jimin tries to flirt his way out of it

  30. 30.

    Yoongi demands to see the evidence Jungkook has produced, which is that ridiculous “Am I charming” tweet that Jimin once made and was never allowed to forget

  31. 31.

    Jimin argues that he was underage when he made that tweet, but Jungkook says he’s an adult now

  32. 32.

    Jungkook’s voice gets lower and lower as the scene goes on, hilariously

  33. 33.

    Yoongi suddenly decides he wants to become a character from a Korean movie and Jungkook is excited that they’re gonna do voices

  34. 34.

    Jungkook gets back to business and asks why Jimin hasn’t stopped being hot as an adult, and Jimin says that old habits are hard to break

  35. 35.

    Yoongi, having taught Taehyung everything he knows about policing, suggests Jimin can dance for a reduced sentence

  36. 36.

    Jimin bargains a role switch with Jungkook and becomes the detective; Jungkook instantly turns into a brat

  37. 37.

    Jimin smacks Jungkook on the head with a book and is horrified with himself

  38. 38.

    Yoongi suddenly declares they’re both guilty of murdering this skit, and Namjoon shows up and kindly leads them to the cell

  39. 39.

    Jimin slips out through the bars and flees into the night

  40. 40.

    Scene three begins with Namjoon and Jungkook interrogating Jin

  41. 41.

    Jungkook’s hair is totally fucked up, like some other member has been styling it into crazed spikes during takes

  42. 42.

    Namjoon accuses Jin of having shoulders that are simply too wide and a face that is incredibly handsome

  43. 43.

    Jin’s defense is that he’s in BTS so he’s obviously hot???

  44. 44.

    Namjoon insinuates that Jin is too old to be in BTS because he’s 25; Jin starts screaming at him, though he admits to having really big shoulders

  45. 45.

    Jimin wants to be interrogated by Namjoon too, but as soon as he wanders up Jin roasts him for having small shoulders so he leaves

  46. 46.

    Jungkook does push-ups in the background for no apparent reason

  47. 47.

    Yoongi, throughout this whole scene, takes breaks from playing on his phone to make dad jokes, and Jin always howls with fake laughter each time

  48. 48.

    Jimin runs back in to hit Jin with a water bottle, then leaves again

  49. 49.

    Namjoon realizes that he’s been speaking formally to Jin and comments on it, out loud

  50. 50.

    Namjoon accuses Jin of making dad jokes, and Jin fully admits it and says he doesn’t care if other people like them because he does and he’s not gonna stop

  51. 51.

    Jin starts giving examples of his jokes, and Namjoon and Jungkook are helpless in the face of their brilliance

  52. 52.

    Yoongi gets in on the action, then Hoseok sprints in wearing a massive puffy coat to do a quick double act with Jin

  53. 53.

    Namjoon, also trained in the same policing school as the rest of them, says Jin needs to dance for a reduced sentence

  54. 54.

    Jin declares he is the main dancer so this is no problem, then proceeds to do the most threatening version of Fire he possibly can

  55. 55.

    The rest of them, including the criminals, throw him in the slammer instantly

  56. 56.

    The debrief is once again full of exhausted relief that the whole thing is over, and they all agree that they should stick with music and leave acting to the actors

  57. 57.

    Jungkook’s hair looks even more insane than the last time he showed up, now a full cresting wave above his head

  58. 58.

    They give Yoongi MVP; Yoongi asks for a prize and Taehyung offers a single coin while Hoseok offers him an additional skit to do

  59. 59.

    Yoongi, for like the tenth time, says they should never ever come back to this skit-doing place ever again

  60. 60.

    The bonus footage shows Jungkook challenging Jimin to a dance battle while Taehyung - now in the chief’s outfit - makes his hair stick up in spikes, solving my own personal mystery for me

  61. 61.

    Jungkook almost unbuttons his shirt before thinking better of it and gyrating his pelvis instead

  62. 62.

    Jimin is declared the winner but both of them are thrown in jail with Taehyung to continue dancing as he watches; the end

The Finish Line:

Once again, these guys are not improv comedians by an stretch of the imagination but they’re so weird and familiar with each other that it all works out anyway. Jungkook slapping Jimin’s ass on the way out of the jail cell is another moment indelibly burned into the ARMY consciousness, for good reason, and the way that under pressure they mostly revert to dancing their own choreography is a pretty clear indicator of how much they were working at the time.

I can’t remember any other skits they did after this, at least not ones where they weren’t also doing something else like solving a mystery or doing a scavenger hunt, so I think the producers either listened to their complaints or realized that they’re generally funnier when they’re warring with each other over meaningless prizes. Because they are, and the next episode is a classic demonstration!