Note: I'm testing out some platforms for potential blogging and rather than write something new I'm porting over old posts from Substack (with some light editing). If you get a sense of deja vu, that's why!

Intro:

People do all of those explainer videos of “who is BTS” for people, and they’re nice, but honestly you just need to watch this episode to get a 15 minute crash course in all of them, personality-wise. In the Pantheon, this is among the best pure “turn them all loose and watch what happens” versions of the show, and a template for a lot of future games.

Setup:

The staff has hidden flags on a random mountain for the boys to find. Some flags give them access to snacks, some give them access to a full meal, and some are blank. In a way that will become thematic, these rules don’t seem to be particularly well understood at the onset.

The Moments of Pure Love:

  1. 1.

    It’s revealed that, while the staff were planning to reward the winners of a prior game with an ATV advantage in this one, there was cheating so now it’s rock-paper-scissors

  2. 2.

    Jungkook utters the classic line “safety first, safety second, coolness third” for their flag search

  3. 3.

    Jimin tries to game the system by going twice in rock-paper-scissors, losing both times

  4. 4.

    Jungkook remorselessly cuts Jin off for a flag, and Jin attempts to scold him, but Koo is already speeding off into the distance

  5. 5.

    Namjoon takes a leisurely stroll through the trees, talking to himself and picking up whatever he finds

  6. 6.

    Jimin sprints around like an insane person and gets approximately one thousand flags

  7. 7.

    Hoseok praises everyone who gets a flag while cheerfully screaming that he can’t find any

  8. 8.

    Yoongi gets his ATV stuck in the mud and revs the engine, yelling fruitlessly, until he decides to ditch it and run awkwardly

  9. 9.

    Jimin, exhausted, will never stop searching

  10. 10.

    Taehyung assures us that he has a “sharing deal” with competent Jimin and Namjoon, so he can fuck around on the ATVs instead of looking

  11. 11.

    Jin praises himself for the excellent job he’s doing

  12. 12.

    Jungkook’s camera falls off the ATV but he’s too focused to notice

  13. 13.

    Hoseok complains he hasn’t found any flags after his bro Jin learned from Koo’s example and cut him off - as Jin already has a flag Hoseok mourns the loss of civility

  14. 14.

    Namjoon screams into the mountains that the rest of them are idiots for missing an early flag

  15. 15.

    Jimin continues to run his ass off and has to hide his flags under his shirt from a suddenly trailing, nosy Yoongi

  16. 16.

    Hoseok morosely asks the staff where the flags are, unsuccessfully

  17. 17.

    Jungkook drops a flag which Yoongi picks up, then proceeds to shriek in celebration and scamper off

  18. 18.

    Yoongi learns his flag is worthless and sprints back up the hill, barely lifting his feet

  19. 19.

    Jungkook gives himself a lil’ pep talk about how he’s not gonna lose

  20. 20.

    Hoseok tries to convince Jungkook to find him a flag, unsuccessfully

  21. 21.

    Taehyung rides around on an ATV and pretends he’s doing a livestream, avoiding Jimin’s pointed question about if he’s actually helping

  22. 22.

    Jimin gleefully informs us he’s not sharing SHIT with Taehyung

  23. 23.

    Jin tries to convince the staff to tell him where a flag is and gets jumpscared by the still scampering Yoongi

  24. 24.

    Jimin barters an ATV ride from Jin for flags

  25. 25.

    Hoseok laments that he is the only who never found a flag

  26. 26.

    Yoongi tries to cheat, is immediately caught

  27. 27.

    Jimin reveals his massive stack of flags and chaos breaks loose

    • Namjoon and Taehyung remind him that they have a pact

    • Jungkook tries to get in on the pact, is rebuffed, throws his flag down in pique

    • Hoseok scoops that flag up with desperate eyes, gripping it tight

    • Jin reminds Jimin he gave him a ride; Jimin is unmoved

    • Jimin gives Jungkook a flag “because he’s cute”

    • Taehyung, totally unprompted, starts begging like a dog, kneeling in the dirt in front of Jimin with his hands curled in supplication

    • Jimin is SUPER into that and gives him a flag

  28. 28.

    Hoseok triumphantly announces he has a flag!

  29. 29.

    Yoongi and Hoseok realize they’re the only ones without a meal prize flag - Hoseok frowns slight and Yoongi instantly offers to get food together later

The Finish Line:

I fucking love this episode. It’s simple, it’s funny, and it’s full of the screaming, scheming, and backstabbing that delights me the most. Everyone is peak Them, and looking back at it now in 2023 it’s really interesting to see the seeds of things that I missed at the time but are obvious now with 10 years of content. Taehyung’s love of roleplaying, Jungkook’s fierce competitive drive paired with a total lack of interest in the actual rewards, Hoseok’s poorly-contained anxiety over his performance level, Jin’s rapidly shifting personal goals, Namjoon’s obsession with nature and beauty, Jimin’s generosity only after he has succeeded beyond imagination, and Yoongi’s manic energy - these aren’t things I necessarily noted when I first saw them, but they’re all integral pieces of these Bangtan boys.

But the most enduring legacy of this episode, the thing that foreshadows the entire future, is the sheer amount of cheating and attempts to manipulate staff into helping them out. This is where we get our first hint that Run BTS isn’t a competition between the members - it’s a war with the production team.